Sunday, April 16, 2006

vulnerability is not weakness

beneathLately, I've been interested in how people react to vulnerability and kindness. I've noticed that the two traits are usually characterized as weaknesses to which there are only two ways of reacting -- by offering protection or taking advantage of the person. This seems a rather counterproductive method if we ever want to empower each other.

I am a kind person who is not afraid to show vulnerability. This makes it difficult to find people who are willing to really be with me and I'd rather not waste my time posturing. Instead, I'd like to dive into acceptance and have it reciprocated.

blossomUnfortunately, I find that most of the time my vulnerability is taken advantage of. The old adage "Give em an inch, they take a mile" is something that happens to me frequently. It's as though being vulnerable is mistaken for "Here take my crap, too. I don't want to be responsible for it." How does this make sense?

Well, I'd like to see that change for being vulnerable is also more importantly known as learning to be yourself.

Who's with me? :)


pink martini said...

It always frustrated me the way others mistreated you. I still feel very protective and angry when this happens (i.e. death stare at bra lady). I guess that's why I chose the rough and tough exterior - nobody could hurt me, but nobody could love me either.

I am grateful that you have not hardened over time - although you have had every reason to. I think it takes tremendous courage and self-respect to show kindness and vulnerability. I am proud of what a beautiful person you are.

Ben said...

good post...cheers

catastrophy said...

I am with you. To resist to predation is difficult but joyfull. The big universal prob is : do humanity can overcome predation ? we must always ( if it is possible) enlarge ours view on ours actions and behaviors. To give them the breath of human dignity. To be kind must not say to be weak but to be civilised, cultivate and in love with life. A certain idea of love is what bring to humans a certain noble futur. Why ? i dont know. but I think after mllion years of predation, we must find an other way to survive than to promote death. Lets promote innocence for giving more sens to life than to be only a physico-chemical phenomenon.

Susan said...

I believe if someone mistreats you when you're being vulnerable, it just shows how shallow that person really is. You have to be strong to be vulnerable and open. Well, that's how I perceive it. =) Kudos for NOT getting hard and disenchanted with the world.