Monday, April 04, 2005
chastity = my phobia
The above image was inspired by some criticism I received the other day for my self portraiture in flickr, most likely in response my power suit set.
I liked your style, it is good but I think you need to look beyond the anger, beyond the stiff and crooked edges, come out of the frame and you will explore "Chastity".
My immediate response was anger. Chastity is a word I do not like. For many reasons, I associate it with hiding, pretending and being locked in a box. But, my own journey is teaching me that the power of sensuality is frightening for some to see in others.
Thus, I thought maybe I was being too small. I should give the man a chance to elaborate and not judge too quickly.
I replied: Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It is my desire to keep evolving, as I explore the difficult realm of acceptance of my power. For now, my expression is of the overwhelming complexity that emerges when you allow yourself to feel the raw emotions without filters. Chastity has a negative association for me. Would you be so kind as to elaborate?
His response was not helpful and only angered me more:
Purity is the word I wanted to use... What I meant is very simple...
(Look at this image) ...Simplicity at its best at the same time defining the deepest complexity.
Ah, purity! Now I understand. errrm...Not! So, I shrugged my shoulders and decided not to email him back. I viewed the image for fairness, but it looked superficial to me. I saw no underlying presence or essence of the woman photographed.
It made me sigh remorsefully. It made me think of all those who, like me, got taught by their mothers that sensuality = sin. Then, it helped me build confidence in what I was doing because I cannot expect others to understand what I am going through. After all, the real reason I'm doing this is for me...
...and for all the other goddesses who cannot speak as loudly as me...yet.